Of Bodies & Bruises
by Smokelesseyes
Summary: Sometimes, in our most intimate moments, we face down inferiority. We are overwhelmed, swallowed by it, and no matter how hard we fight it, we find ourselves drowned. We feel small, inadequate to receive such warmth and security. We feel unworthy of love, affection. Insignificant, undeserving to bask in it. But we do. Alive!Tadashi,TadashiXOC,Post BH6,ADULT THEMED,Image:Me
1. Chapter 1

_Hello everyone! So, this is a fic I wrote in the beginning of the summer, and have gone back time and again to tweak and make sure it is what I envisioned it to be. Though, there may be inconsistencies and spelling/grammar errors, as this is long and I am only human, so sorry about that a head of time ^^''_

 _If you have read my other stories here, you would know that my writing of the recent has circled around Tadashi Hamada from BH6, and my OC, Auden Haworth. Unsurprisingly, this is one of those such writings._

 _I have never tried to write anything...Involved before. I am not one who understands romance of this nature, and my knowledge of such comes from YA novels I have read and other fanfictions. However, I wanted to challenge myself a write something intimate, but at the same time, make it something soft and tender._

 _I'm a person who looks at intimacy and sees it as an experience that is not simply physical, but mental and emotional as well. It is something that should connect with two individuals on all levels, on every aspect of themselves. It is something that should be beautiful and breath taking and incredible. It is the ultimate act of love._

 _Pretty much, I'm cheesy, but that's okay, because I know I'm not the only one who thinks this way. Basically, I want to write something intimate but give it plot, give it more purpose than what I usually read online. I want there to be story more than smut. I want there to be love, not sex. I wanted to make a relationship._

 _And so, I wrote this. Now, I will point out that if you have read my earlier stuff, then you may notice a reference to my earlier work, "The Pace We Move To." You do not have to read that to understand this fic, because the mention will not bring about confusion for those who have not read the other story. This can pretty much be read as a stand alone._

 _However, the fic I am currently working on more so references this fic, so when I post that (which will probably be in August sometime), it may make things easier for you to read this before that. Just an FYI :3_

 _This is one of my longer fics, so I will be posting it in multiple chapters. I'm guessing this one will be around four, maybe five chapters. We will have to see how I divide the rest up, but until then, here's the first part._

 _Oh, and in case it wasn't obvious, there are **ADULT THEMES** in this fic, meaning that if sex and or that of the like makes you squeamish or isn't your cup of tea, then I'd suggest a reading a different fic. But, if you are a-okay with that sort of stuff, please continue ^v^_

 _I would LOVE to hear comments on this, in particular the characterization of Tadashi (because this is what I think he'd be like, but I'm not sure if it is "canon") and the whole, ahem, act. Like I said, NOT A EXPERT AT THIS SORT OF THING so I would appreciate feedback on my interpretation. :)_

 _If you would like to learn more about my OC, my deviantart account, Smokelesseyes, has more information on her. **That's .com**_

 _Alright, without further adieu, here is part one of this fanfic. Thanks for reading!_

 _~Smoke_

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 _Of Bodies and Bruises_

 _Chapter One_

"Ah, Tadashi…" I vaguely heard myself murmur as Tadashi's hands came to rest on my waist, his thumbs brushing against the bare skin of my torso as my shirt hitched up. Tadashi's lips rested on my neck, the familiar pulsation of his mouth bring the hairs on the back standing up, the ache resulting from it a pain that felt comforting and good. I ran my fingers absently through his hair, the soreness that ran from various areas on my neck and collarbone sharpening as Tadashi left another mark.

The haziness I usually experienced when things became more intimate between the two of us had descended a while back, and I was finding it harder and harder to care that Ms. Cass was just downstairs or that Hiro could burst through the door any minute and see us in a rather close and tangled embrace. Familiar warmth that I only experienced with Tadashi was spiraling through me, and it felt so good and satisfying that it just strengthened my negligent attitude towards anything else aside from Tadashi and his embrace.

I could feel Tadashi's lips turn up against my skin as he finished up another love bite. "Feels alright, Auden? Not too many?" He murmured against my skin, his voice low and husky, something I had figured out only happened when he was feeling as hazy and warm as I was…

I shook my head, minuet aches from my neck in protest of the movement ones I welcomed. "N-no…I-it feels g-good, T-Tadashi…"

Despite the feeling that I was floating above all and everything, I could still feel my cheeks warm as I admitted that I enjoyed Tadashi giving me hickies. Though, I'm sure Tadashi wouldn't be able to tell that my cheeks had darkened more, considering they had been red the entire time.

"Ah, well then…" Tadashi's lips brushed against his new mark, the pressure on the sensitive area making me wince slightly. "I'd love to give you another, but…" Tadashi moved from love bite to love bite, kissing each one softly. "I'm running out of room, so it looks like we'll have to find something else to enjoy doing."

Tadashi moved, and suddenly his face was in front of mine. His tawny eyes were warm but dark, and I knew from the look that he was by no means done with our intimacy, though I won't lie and say that disappointed me.

"So…"Tadashi's lips pressed against my jawline, and he ran warm kisses from my chin to my ear, biting my ear lobe lightly once he reached it, causing me the gasp softly. "What would you like to do…?"

I felt my heart pound in my chest as be breathed the words into my ear, which sent a shiver up my spine. It was always such a shock to see Tadashi become so…Lustful. It just didn't seem like a way he would behave. Then again, he was a young man, so this behavior shouldn't be too surprising, and despite the lingering bruises and dark looks, he was still Tadashi. Even with how he'd get when we got more and more intimate, he would always ask and make sure I was okay with how everything was going, and he was always focused on how I was feeling and what I wanted.

I had also noticed this more dominant side of him had more frequent appearances as the months passed and our relationship became deeper and more steady. It seemed that once he knew I was comfortable with something, he allowed himself to relax and dwell in the moment as well. This continuous development of Tadashi's intimate side had me wondering if he was holding back for my sake, that what I was seeing was just a fraction of how he really felt and what he really wanted to do with me.

This wasn't the first time I thought of it, and since I had promised Tadashi I'd open up more and discuss things with him instead of just keeping them to myself, I had asked him several times before about whether or not he wanted to do more or was okay with what we were doing. His answer was always the same, that yes he was alright with doing as much as we were at the current state in our relationship, and yes, though he might like to do more, he wasn't going to push me to do something I wasn't ready for.

 _"What makes you happy makes me happy. Though I might want to do more at times, if you don't enjoy it, then I wouldn't either, no matter how much I thought I would. Your happiness is much more important and is what makes me the happiest Auden."_

Still, knowing that Tadashi was holding back and going slow for my sake made me realize how unfair it was for him. He shouldn't have to be the only one to change up their tempo. So, though I was getting more comfortable with doing certain things (kissing, love bites, sleeping in the same bed) I was also pushing myself to take small risks to quicken my tempo up, even just a bit, to make things fair for the both of us. Tadashi slowed down, and I sped up. That way, we both were making sacrifices to find that middle ground that was still in our comfort zones and made us both happy and obliging to be there.

I swallowed, mouth dry from Tadashi's close proximity. "C-can we…K-kiss…?" My question was but a whisper, but luckily, Tadashi was close enough so I wouldn't have to repeat it.

Sparks snapped up my jaw as Tadashi's fingers were suddenly there, pressing lightly into my warm skin. He pulled his head away from my ear, and was once again in the center of my vision. He was close enough that the whole of his face took up most of my gaze, yet, I could see his neck, see the marks I left on him just a few minutes before.

I felt my cheeks redden as I saw the newly forming bruises, still shocked that I had the audacity to do such a thing. Though it made it easier knowing that Tadashi liked them so much; it wasn't as embarrassing knowing that I was making him feel good by suck on the tender skin of his neck. The feeling about hickies was mutual, and I'm sure my neck wasn't too far off from his. It was a good thing neither of us had anywhere to go over the next few days…

"Certainly." Tadashi's voice was one of the first things I noticed about him, deep yet gentle, something I always found ironic. Of course, now it was a bit sultry as he addressed me, giving me little to no time to prepare as suddenly Tadashi's lips were pressed into mine, causing a new wave of warmth to wash through my body. His lips I knew so well; I could be blind and know Tadashi was the one in front of me simply by tracing his lips with my fingertip.

I kissed back, pressing my mouth into his, falling into the familiar dance that our lips performed whenever they met. Our lips moved across one another's, and tingles burst from mine, haziness thickening. I could feel the warmth in my body circling and focusing around my lower abdomen, pulsating there as Tadashi's fingers moved up my torso, my shirt riding up more as he pressed his fingers into my flesh, seeming keen on touching as much of it as he could. I settled my fingers at the nape of his neck, holding myself close to him as I readjusted myself on his lap, the idea that we were in his bed with only the closed thin shoji door between us and everyone else becoming smaller and less important as instincts rose and flared up inside me.

I ran my fingers up the back of Tadashi's head, allowing them to tangle with his short, thick hair. Tadashi let out what sounded like a growl, one of appreciation as his hands tightened around me, his lips crashing into mine harder. I felt something wet and warm dart across my lips, sending sharp pin like sensations through them where it touched. His breath hot, impatient almost on my face as he waited for me to

recognize the wet warmth as his tongue, demanding entrance into my mouth.

I had barely opened my mouth when Tadashi's tongue dove in, tangling with mine and searching my mouth, leaving not a spot untouched. I could feel my breathing speeding up, coming out in short puffs from my nose, and I was unable to concentrate on anything else but the sensations buzzing through my body.

Then, unexpectedly, Tadashi's tongue disappeared, which brought about a wave of disappointment and confusion until I heard his husky words.

"A-auden…I…I want to…C-can I…?"

Hearing him breathless and questioning, I opened my eyes to see what exactly he was referring to when I felt him grip my waist tighter, causing me to gasp. Looking up at him, I saw Tadashi's usual composure was slipping, and a look of desperation was mixing with his darkened gaze. He looked nervous, hair sticking up in random directions and looking a bit torn. Not only that, but as I ran his words through my head again, I realized that he sounded almost like he was pleading.

I wasn't used to Tadashi acting like this…He suddenly looked so young, so innocent, and it hit me hard in that moment that I had no idea how experienced Tadashi truly was in this department. Sure, his love life had come across in conversation once or twice; he had a few girlfriends in high school, but nothing had ever been too serious with them. Still, I always figured that by the way he acted, he had done this before, had been around the bend a few times. But putting together what he'd told me previous and what I was seeing now, I realized that maybe my assumption was wrong. Maybe Tadashi wasn't as experienced as I thought. Maybe the front he put on was to make me more comfortable, or maybe it made _him_ more comfortable.

Absorbing this new possibility, I opened my mouth to ask Tadashi what he wanted to do when I felt him squeeze my sides again. That was the second time he'd done that. Was he trying to tell me…?

I felt my eyes widen as I figured out what he wanted to do. He wanted…He wanted to take my shirt off…I felt my face blaze ferociously and heart pound away on my ribs. I looked down at my shirt, which I saw was already up over my stomach, exposing my belly button. Tadashi tanned arms contrasted with the pale complexion of my stomach, his hands hidden by the bunched up material of my tank top, which had inched their way up my waist and now rested on my ribs, just beneath my bra…I felt my eyes widened; I hadn't even felt or realized Tadashi's hands had crept up that far. I wondered if maybe he hadn't either, and that was why he'd stopped to ask me if it was okay for him to continue when he noticed himself before he just did it in a wave of desire.

I bit my lip, looking from Tadashi's arms and up to his face. Was I ready for this? Did I really want Tadashi to see what was underneath my baggy shirt? It wasn't much; my chest was small, practically flat. I had never really cared about the size of my breasts until I'd started dating Tadashi. I knew that someday he'd want to see me, and I knew that someday I'd let him, but did that mean I _wanted_ him to?

I just didn't want to disappoint him. Tadashi was amazing; he had a beautiful mind and beautiful body, was someone every girl would dream of being with (I had seen the ways girls and even some guys looked at Tadashi. It wasn't hard to figure out he was desirable). I was so very lucky to be with him, lucky that he _wanted_ to be with me. Me, whose mind was a mess of anxiety and trauma (though not as bad as it had once been. I was working on it, but it still was not 100%) and body was the equivalent of a 12 year old boy's.

I wasn't desirable. I knew that, had accepted it. But, that didn't mean I expected someone else to accept it, not even Tadashi. It wasn't fair; I got this great package and he pretty much got the free cheap little gift that came with a purchase over a certain amount. Suddenly the warmth pooling in me cooled down and died away, and before I could even comprehend what I was doing, I was putting my hands on Tadashi's and gently removing them from my body as I detangled myself from him and slide off the bed, bare feet hitting the smooth wood of his bedroom floor.

"Auden?" I wasn't surprised when I heard Tadashi's bed squeak and found him sitting himself next to me. "Are you alright? I'm sorry if I pushed too much. That wasn't my intention, I just…" the worry and guilt in Tadashi's tone was heavy and looking up at him, I watched as he carded his fingers through his messy hair, a telltale sign that he felt bad. "I got caught up in the moment, and wasn't really thinking when I asked. I should've never-,"

"It's not you Tadashi." I cut Tadashi off, not wanting him to give a full-blown explanation and apology for something that wasn't even his fault. Tendrils of guilt swirled in my stomach, knowing that I had been the one to bring about such feelings in him. "It…It wasn't anything y-you did…I-I'm not upset by th-that." I looked away, focusing on the floorboards below.

"Auden…" I could hear the worry still in Tadashi's tone, which had gone from husky to gentle. A warm hand placed itself on my bare shoulder. "If that's not the case, then what's wrong? You seemed fine until I brought up…That."

I shrugged, keeping my eyes glued to the floor. _How_ could I tell Tadashi? Not only would it be mortifying, but my words might be what Tadashi needs to hear in order to come with terms that…That I wasn't attractive.

Like I said, I was okay with not being attractive. I wasn't what people thought of when "sexy" and "beautiful" came to mind. I knew I wasn't, and I was okay with it. I just wasn't okay with not being that for Tadashi.

"Auden…" Warm fingertips pressed into my jaw and coaxed my head into turning. Allowing it to do so, I found my gaze no longer on the floor and away from Tadashi, but on Tadashi's face. His eyes were warm and light, the darkened looks gone for the time being, worry replacing it. "Please, don't shut me out. Remember what you told me at the beginning of all this? That you wouldn't lock me out, that you'd let me know what was going on; that you'd trust me?"

 _'At the beginning of all this.'_ Tadashi meant at the very beginning of our relationship, where we went from just friends to something more, something I never thought I'd want, but needed. Of _course_ I'd remember that conversation, even if it had been over eight months ago. I'd promised Tadashi I'd tell him whenever something bothered me, no matter what it was, so previous events wouldn't be repeated. So I wouldn't completely shatter as I had just a few months prior to that conversation.

And I had done the best I could to follow through with Tadashi's request. I told him when things were getting rough for me, when I found myself facing difficult times, whether in our relationship or aside from it. And every time he'd listen and offer advice and support, which did help and make the situation more bearable, even fix it on some occasions. I returned the favor of course, but Tadashi was more willing to discuss any problems he was having unlike myself, which is why that conversation had occurred in the first place.

I nodded.

"I…I remember, a-and I d-do my best with it, b-but…" I averted my eyes from Tadashi, instead focusing on his shirt. "Th-this is something I…I can't t-tell you Tadashi…I just can't."

Tadashi's response was immediate. "Can't, or won't?" His arm had moved from my shoulder and had now come to rest on top of my own, thumb smoothing across the skin. "Auden, you can tell me _anything,_ especially if it is something that upsets you."

"B-but, what if it upsets you, too?" I bit my lip, feeling more vulnerable than I had in a long time.

"Then that is all the more reason to tell me." I felt my eyes widen at Tadashi's words and glanced up at him. "If it upsets you and you think it'll upset me, then it must be something about the two of us, right? We should talk about it. Plus," Tadashi's thumb brushed against my cheek, "You don't actually know if it'll upset me unless you tell me; that's all speculation."

Why did Tadashi always have to be so logical and forward thinking? Then again, maybe it was a _good_ thing he had such a mindset; he was able to make sense of my jumbled and anxiety-riddled thoughts. It was like putting them into an organizer.

I bit the inside of my cheek, thinking. I could just push Tadashi off, tell him it was no big deal, but knowing him, he'd still hover and ask to talk about it. If Tadashi was anything, it was persistent. Not only that, but I might hurt his feelings by refusing to talk…Plus, he'd find out eventually, if not now. Might as well get it out of the way earlier than later.

"W-well, o-okay…" Letting the air trickle out of my nostrils, I prepared myself for an explanation I never thought I'd have to give. "I…I j-just…I-I'm just not good enough."

I watched as Tadashi's dark eyebrows rose at my words.

"Auden, _what_ are you talking about? You _are_ good enough. Don't you remember what I told you and still tell you? You're-,"

"I-I don't mean it like that," I said, shaking my head as much as Tadashi's hand would allow. I couldn't help the small flare of warmth that sparked in me at the sounds of Tadashi's words, strong a resolute. That he was 100% sure that I _was_ good enough, that I was a good person. "I-I meant more along th-the lines of…physically."

I hadn't even gotten to the meat of things and my cheeks were already burning. This was so humiliating and also terrifying. The last thing I wanted to tell Tadashi was that I was disappointing him, that I couldn't offer him a good physical relationship.

Tadashi's eyebrows lowered from their surprised positioning, and furrowed to show the confusion he was clearly feeling.

"What do you mean physically? Auden, you know I think you're beautiful."

I felt my cheeks heat up more as Tadashi complimented me; no, it wasn't even a compliment. The way Tadashi said it was more of an affirmation, as though it was _fact_ that I was beautiful, as clear as day to anyone and everyone.

"I-I meant more…B-body wise." My eyes lowered away from Tadashi's as I spoke of my insecurities. "T-Tadashi, I might get wrapped u-up in my head, b-but I'm not completely oblivious. I-I know I don't…Don't have an attractive b-body…Heck, I-I have the b-body of a twelve year old boy." I couldn't help but smile at the comparison, even though the conversation was bringing me anything but joy.

"Auden…" Tadashi's voice was soft, and I could hear the empathy in his tone as he took in my words.

"I-I'm okay with it…Re-really, I-I don't mind for myself, b-but for you…" I could feel my eyes prick, the subject much sorer than I thought it would be. "I-it just isn't fair…I-I'm so b-barren…S-so when you w-wanted to take o-off my shirt, I-I was scared, n-not d-doing it per say, b-but because of th-the p-possibility of seeing the d-disappointment on your f-face…" I sniffed, the final word staying never making it out of my mind.

 _Rejection._

Suddenly, Tadashi's hands disappeared from my own and my face, and I found a moment later that his arms were wrapping around me, pulling me towards him. My eyes widened at the sudden embrace, not sure what I had expected after my confession.

" _Jeez_ Auden…" I could feel Tadashi bury his face into my hair, taking a deep breath in. " _How_ could you think that I wouldn't _love_ your body? That I would be _disappointed?"_

Tadashi pulled his face out from my curls and looked at me, his face so open, and I swore that for a moment, I could see hurt flicker through his eyes. He was waiting for me to answer his question. Swallowing the lump away, I answered quietly.

"W-well, I-I know th-that guys like…Like girls that aren't like m-me…"

"Auden," If I didn't know any better, I could of sworn Tadashi sounded _exasperated_ by my answer, "Not all guys like the exact same thing. Besides, not all guys are shallow to look at a woman at face value, just take into account her body. In fact, a good number of guys love a woman for _who_ she is, not what she has.

"And," Tadashi continued, unwrapping an arm from around me so he could tilt my chin up with his free hand, "when you love a woman for who she is, you love _all_ of her because everything she has is what makes her everything she is."

My heart fluttered in my chest at Tadashi's words. How did he always know what to say? Even though what he said might be true, I still felt I was lacking what he could possibly want and need.

"B-but still T-Tadashi…" I glanced off to the side, cheeks warming even more. "Y-you…You give so much…I-I just feel th-that sometimes, I-I can't do the s-same for you, n-no matter how hard I-I try…I-I just want t-to be able t-to do the same f-for you…a-and, that includes…phys-physical th-things as well."

"Auden, you give me so much too." Tadashi's words coaxed me to look back at him. "More than enough. You're always so caring and are always thinking about what's best for me and worrying for me, even if it is over silly things like physical appearances." I felt myself blush more as Tadashi spoke. "All you have to do Auden is be yourself, because that is who I love. I love you Auden, all of you."

"I…I love you too." I whispered to Tadashi, the words like cotton on my tongue. Even though I had heard the words and said them more than once, I still got a fluttery light feeling inside of me when the exchange occurred. "Re-really, I do…Th-thank you Tadashi."

Tadashi smiled, brushing a few stray curls from my face.

"No problem. I want you to as comfortable with yourself as I am with you." Tadashi leaned it, pecking me on the lips, sending sparks flying throughout me once again and rekindling the fire that had been doused by doubt earlier.

 _TBC…_


	2. Chapter 2

_Of Bodies and Bruises_

 _Chapter two_

"Now," Tadashi unwrapped himself from me, allowing his other hand to join the one that already lay on top of my hands. "Am I allowed to show you how much I love you?" Taking my hands into his own, he looked up at me, warmth in his eyes and etched into his mouth as he smiled a bit more.

 _''Show you how much I love you?' Did he mean…?'_ The thoughts froze in my mind as understanding battled its way through the confusion. He…He really wanted to…To do _that?_ Heart pumping harder in my chest, I swallowed away the dry patch that anxiety had laid at the back of my throat and nodded slowly.

"I…If-If you w-want to…"

Tadashi chuckled.

"Of _course_ I want to." Tadashi reached up and poked my nose. "I wouldn't have asked if I felt anything other than that."

I blinked as Tadashi tapped my nose, not expecting the touch. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath in to try and calm my racing heart and settle my nerves. I could do this; I could _do_ this.

"Auden…" I opened my eyes to see Tadashi studying me carefully, concern filtering into his features. "If you aren't comfortable with doing this, then we don't-,"

"No!" I exclaimed quickly, shocked that even after I'd agreed, he was still checking to make sure I _actually_ wanted to.

It dawned upon me a moment later that I had yelled at Tadashi, and I felt my cheeks redden more. Deciding to try again, I spoke quieter this time. "S-sorry I-I mean…I want to. Really. Just…Trying to g-get into the right state of mind." I offered Tadashi a small, reassuring smile, bringing my thumbs up and running them over his knuckles. "Really Tadashi…I want to-to do this…With you."

If I thought I saw Tadashi's cheek redden at my words, I wouldn't have said anything about it. He did, however, stare at me for a moment, before realizing he was. He blinked, and then looked off to the side, taking his turn to compose himself.

"Alright," He coughed, and then turned to look at me again, "cool. I-I'm glad you feel that way…So…" Tadashi's hands snaked around my waist, and I could almost see his eyes darken as he performed the action. "Are you ready?"

Heart in my mouth, I nodded, leaning forward and planting a kiss on his lips.

"Yes."

Tadashi watched me for a moment, as if looking for any signs of discomfort or uncertainty. After finding none, He began to lift the hem of my shirt up. I watched, heart beating like a hummingbird's as the fabric rose up, showing the pale skin of my stomach underneath. I felt my breathing quicken, watching as the fabric moved up, waiting in anticipation for the moment where it cleared my head and I sat in front of Tadashi topless for the first time.

However, just before you could seem my bra, Tadashi suddenly stopped. Confused, I looked up from the fabric and to Tadashi. Had something gone wrong Had-had Tadashi realized that maybe his words from earlier were wrong, that by what he had seen, he was uninterested? That he was disappointed? The thought had my stomach dropping like someone had just feed it several rocks to weigh it down.

Heart pounding in both fear and anxiety, I was about to ask Tadashi if that was the case and brush it off as no big deal when he beat me to it.

"Sorry Auden," He said, removing his hands from my shirt and putting them on the hem of his own, "I should've removed mine first."

I stared at Tadashi a moment, having difficult comprehending what he was telling me, because it wasn't what I was expecting him to say.

"I…wh-what?"

Tadashi looked up at me.

"Well, it's not fair to you that you be the only one to have to remove your shirt, " He explained, gesturing to my top, "plus, I figured that maybe you'd be more comfortable if I took my shirt off, so we are on the same ground, you know what I mean?"

I felt my eyes widened at Tadashi's words. H-he had stopped because he realized it was unfair for him to remove my shirt while his was still on? He wanted to take his shirt off so I wouldn't be the only one?

"…be the gentleman you know? " I heard Tadashi saying as I pulled myself out of my shocked mind. "I actually was planning on doing it first, but I guess I got a little carried away." Tadashi's cheeks tinted, and he rubbed the back of his neck. "Too excited I guess. Sorry about that. But yeah, that's what I was thinking. Are…Are you alright with that?"

I watched as Tadashi gave me an apologetic smile, looking at me expectantly. It took me a moment to gather myself; I was still reeling from the shock of what Tadashi said. I suppose it shouldn't surprise me. Tadashi was, first and foremost, a gentleman after all. He was a truly good person, and this display just further proved it. How was it possible that someone so thoughtful and selfless could love me? I was undoubtedly one of the most fortunate people in the world when it came to relationships.

I felt my eyes mist up at the thought, and warmth beat from my heart and throughout my body. I'll admit, I was still a little nervous to take my shirt off, but I was more sure than anything that I wanted to. I _wanted_ to for Tadashi; he had proven that he could handle it, _deserved_ it. I nodded, blinking away the water accumulating in my eyes before they became tears.

"I am. Th-that…That would m-make me feel better." I said softly, watching Tadashi. "Th-thank you Tadashi."

Tadashi's smile grew a little more, becoming warmer and gentler.

"It's no problem Auden. Like I said, I want you to feel comfortable." Taking the hem of his shirt in his hands, he gestured to my own. "Would you like to pitch in?"

I stared at Tadashi, knowing what he meant, but surprised by the question. He…He wanted to me help take his shirt off? Swallowing, I nodded slowly.

"S…sure…O-okay."

Tadashi's grin widened at my awed response.

"Well, it only seems fair. You help me with my shirt, and then, if you'd like, I can help you with yours. Sounds okay?"

I nodded.

"Y-yeah, I…I like that idea."

"Awesome. Well then, let's do this." Tadashi then motioned for me to place my hands on top of his, which I did, gently laying them on top. Once I had, Tadashi began lifting up his shirt, pulling it slowing up over his stomach and chest, my hands following along with his.

My heart thundered in my chest; this was the first time I'd seen Tadashi with no shirt. I already knew that he had a nice physique, as I could see the muscular of his torso and chest through the tight shirts he seemed fond of wearing. Still, I couldn't help it as my eyes widened at the sight of his bare upper body as Tadashi and I pulled off his shirt completely.

His skin was beautiful. It was the same golden tan the rest of his body gleamed with, smooth and without a mark on it. He had almost no hair on him, but I noticed dark tendrils running from below his belly button and down, disappearing into the band of his shorts…I felt me cheeks redden at what lay underneath the cloth.

Bringing my attention back upwards, I allowed my eyes to trace up his narrow waist to his sculpted torso, abs pressing against the skin just enough to give the effect of smooth mounds that indicated hard work. His chest was well defined, pectorals smooth and risen, and I couldn't help but stare at his arms. Deltoids finely shaped, flowing nicely into Tadashi's formed biceps, the muscles I was already familiar with since they poked out of a number of his shirts.

I knew Tadashi was attractive, but I never realized _how_ attractive he was. No wonder people stared at him as we walked by; were they able to see through his shirt maybe?

"You're awfully quiet." I snapped my head from Tadashi's body and up to his face, to find him watching me, an amused expression on his face. "Am I alright, or would you rather I put my shirt back on?"

I shook my head, my cheeks reddening more at Tadashi's teasing tone. Gripping his shirt, which somehow had ended up in _my_ hands, I spoke quickly.

"N-No, it-it's fine. It's just…" I could feel my face heat up. "Y-you're beautiful, T-Tadashi."

Tadashi's cheeks reddened a bit as I spoke the last few words softly. He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck once more.

"W-well, thank you. I'm glad you think so...Would be a bit inconveniencing if you didn't find me attractive now wouldn't it?"

I couldn't do any more than shrug, which caused Tadashi to laugh a bit more.

"Don't be embarrassed Auden. Now you know how I feel whenever I tell you you're beautiful." Tadashi's hand traced my face, his eyes light and playful. "I'm very flattered. Now…Are you ready?"

I felt my heart spike as I read the meaning of Tadashi's words. It was my turn now to take off my shirt…I nodded, reaching down and taking hold of the hem. Looking up, I gave Tadashi the visual "okay," to reach down and place his hands on mine. I watched as his larger warm hands covered my own, feeling their warmth sink into mine and travel up the length of my arms. My heart pounded harder than I ever experienced as I took in a breath and let it out silently, readying myself as I begun to lift my shirt over my head.

I refused to look at Tadashi as I moved my shirt up and over my torso, chest beginning to hurt as my heart pounded into it. Tadashi didn't speak as the shirt drew over my chest, and then finally, over my head. I let Tadashi take my shirt, my hair having a bit of static to it now that the shirt had been pulled over it. The warm spring air hit me from all directions, the slight breeze from the cracked window behind me bringing the hairs on my bare back to attention.

I was shirtless. I was shirtless, in front of Tadashi. I kept my head down, allowing my curls to remain mussed from my shirt so they could cover my face. It was so hot that I could feel the heat wafting off of it, blood roaring in my ears as I waited what felt like a painstakingly long time as Tadashi looked at me for the first time. I had to fight the urge to pull my knees up to my chest and curl into a ball.

"Auden…" I stiffened in surprise as Tadashi's fingers suddenly brushed the side of my face, taking away the coverage of my curls. Licking my lips, I glanced up at Tadashi to see him studying me, his eyes warmer than ever. "You're so _beautiful."_

For a moment, I forgot how to breathe, Tadashi's words pulling everything to a screeching halt inside of me. He thought my body was _beautiful?_ My, small, very boyish figure he thought was pretty? It didn't seem possible…Feeling rather meek and diffident at the moment, my words came out quiet, almost inaudible.

"Are…Are you s-sure…?"

Tadashi's gave me a gentle smile, one that let me know his words and actions were genuine.

"Yes, I'm sure. You're beautiful Auden. All of you is." Tadashi smoothed the rest of my hair out of my face and pressed his lips to my cheek, warming it even more and sending a buzz throughout the side of my face.

I wasn't sure what to say; I couldn't argue with Tadashi, not when his words were said with such an open and honest tone. There was no doubt that he was telling the truth, and if he really was, then that meant…That meant he really thought my body was beautiful. My body, _beautiful._ I never thought it would be possible to be seen in such a way.

"O-oh…" The words were soft as they slipped through my lips, and I was unable to wipe the surprise from my voice as I spoke. "Th-thank you, T-Tadashi."

Tadashi pulled back from me, his smile breaking into a grin.

"You are very welcome love." He said, the pet name making my pounding heart light as a feather.

"Now," Tadashi leaned forward, pressing warm kisses onto my jaw, traveling down to my chin, where he finished off with a kiss that left warmth lingering on my sparking lips. "Since I can see that you are still a bit of a shock about me finding you oh so attractive, let me _show_ you what I meant by those words."

Tadashi's voice had grown lower, a wisp of huskiness sneaking into the last few words. I felt my eyes widen, and found my heart pounding away in my chest once more as I looked into his darken gaze, dominance resurging. Hands wrapping around my bare waist, Tadashi pulled the both of us back, him further onto the mattress and me onto him. I sat in his lap once again as he pressed surprisingly soft kisses into my lips. These types of kisses I recognized as the usual ones we shared outside of such intimacy, or at the very beginnings of it. He was probably trying to slowly rebuild things, bring back the mood that had disappeared with my insecurity.

But now, sitting on his lap, his lips moving against mine in a familiar motion, I found my nervousness and fear dying away, instead replaced by security and comfort as I closed my eyes and focused on what I was feeling, _how_ Tadashi made me feel. His fingers brushed up the smooth skin of my back, sparks flying up my spine and goose bumps spreading out across my flesh. His lips pressed into mine a bit more, our kiss moving from sweet and light to passionate and heavy.

Before he could get the chance to, I opened my mouth and traced his lips with my tongue, feeling his arms tighten around me, hands gripping be just a bit rougher as he opened his mouth and allowed me passage. His mouth tasted faintly of spearmint, a little bell going off in the back of my preoccupied mind that he'd been eating lifesavers earlier while he reworked a part of Baymax's circuitry. It had been causing issues with his processing capabilities, and popping them into his mouth, he'd sat hunched over his desk, cap backwards and several different tools next to him as he poked at the cartridge.

The focused and determined look on his face was something I'd always love to see; the _passion_ for his work was incredible, but it could truly be appreciated when you watched him work on his projects. I don't know if Tadashi knew how often I stopped my own work to just study his face, or that I'd used his face as the idea for many of my therapy charcoal drawings. I'd sketched it so many times, but no matter how I smudged and blended, I couldn't seem to capture the raw emotion he wore on his face like an open canvas.

Tadashi's tongue moving against mine suddenly, pushing me out of his mouth in an act of dominance so he could get to my mine. I submitted, though I managed to get sparks of mint here and there as his tongue pressed into mine as he _thoroughly_ explored my mouth. My breaths were coming out in puffs once again, and I was warming up faster now, the familiar fog of desire filling my head again and making me feel light and carefree.

I found my hands in his hair, brushing at his scalp and tugging on his hair every once in a while as he flicked his tongue on my own and bit my lip lightly. I had figured out Tadashi liked when you played with his hair; there was an unspoken code the two of us had. I'd tug his hair when I appreciated what he was doing, and he'd make sure to do it again and again, or, keep following the path he'd started down. In the months since we'd started dating, experimenting and talking things out, we'd managed to figure out what the other liked, and what together we could both enjoy. We'd come far in our physical growth together, and we were pushing forward still, together as always.

I wasn't sure how longed we'd been entangled in each other, how long Tadashi's mouth had been on mine. His breaths were coming out hot and short across my face as I'm sure mine were on his. I might have been stuck in that dizzing haze, but I was focused so much so on our movements against one another that I could pick out the differences in our kissing, becoming sloppy but still just as passionate. Tadashi was getting as absorbed in all of this as I was, and I couldn't help the butterflies that were released in my stomach at the thought that he was as lost in our connection as I was.

However, the woozy, happy feeling that flooded my body came to a halt as I felt Tadashi's fingers, which had be busy tracing lazy circles into my skin, suddenly creep up on the strap of my bra, brushing over the clasps ever so lightly.

I gasped, and pulled away from Tadashi in shock, effectively breaking our kiss. Heart pounding, I stared at Tadashi with wide eyes, lips too numb and mind too jumbled to even express or ask _why_ he'd been lingering over that area, though the reason may have been obvious.

Tadashi, whose face was one of confusion, opened his mouth, which I noticed was swollen from all the sucking and kissing we'd done, to voice it.

"A-Auden? What's wrong? Did-,"

He stopped short as his fingers moved against my bra, most likely thinking of lifting his hand to cup my cheek, and I watched before my very eyes as the confused and worried look soon turned to one of realization, and then guilt as he put two and two together. As though he'd touched a hot stovetop, Tadashi's fingers were off my bra in a flash, both his hands in front of him in a sort of surrendering gesture.

"Auden, I-I'm so _sorry,_ I didn't even realize that I-," Tadashi swallowed, and I could see the suave persona vanish and instead a young, _innocent_ one take its place. "I-I wasn't paying attention, I-I was to wrapped up in- _shit_ I'm _really_ sorry. I promise you I would _never_ even _think_ if taking o-off your-," Tadashi's face reddened and he skipped over the word, clearly to flustered to even process saying it, "n-not without your per-permission that is, I-,"

"Tadashi." I said, finally finding my voice as my brain began to reload from the initial shock to its system. Sure, I was still surprised Tadashi had done _that,_ but I knew it hadn't been intentional. After all, Tadashi never did anything without asking first. Intentional or not, I just hadn't expected it, and reacted accordingly. Plus, Tadashi's fast guilt fed words were enough to assure that the touch had been an accident.

Reaching up, I grabbed Tadashi's wrists gently and pulled his hands down, and gave him a calm gaze, words softly spoken as I tried to calm him down. "It's okay. I…I know it was an accident. I-I just hadn't been expecting it, th-that's all." Rubbing my thumbs over his knuckles, I gave him a reassuring smile. "So don't worry, okay? I'm fine."

Tadashi might've been put together better than me (okay, he was put together A LOT better than me, than most people really), but that didn't mean he didn't have his moments. Moments, which I noticed, occurred when he'd messed something up accidentally. He'd get like this, all flustered and unsure what to say, words fast flying and spoken too closely together to make much sense. It was surprisingly similar to how I'd get when my anxiety riled up. So, it only made sense that I knew how to deal with it and talk him out of it.

Tadashi stared at me, eyes wide, guilt all too easy to see in them and his face. His cheeks were much redder than before from working himself up, his breaths still heavy. I squeezed his hands, which grabbed his attention and had him looking down. I took this opportunity of distraction to lean forward and kiss him on top of his head, leaning back just as he raised his head again, guilt gone, but confusion and uncertainty still lingering.

"Auden…" Tadashi paused, studying my face. "You're too good for me, you know that?"

I blinked in surprise at Tadashi's words; did he _really_ think I was too good for him, that I deserved someone else, someone better? That wasn't even _possible._ Tadashi was better, the _best_ for me I'd come to realize.

"I think that's s-suppose to be my line." I teased lightly, my smile widening a little more. "But I'm glad the fe-feeling is mutual."

I squeezed Tadashi's hands again, but this time he didn't look down. Instead he kept his gaze on me, allowing a beat of silence to pass, as if deciding something, between us before he spoke again.

"Auden…H-how would you feel if…if I…" Tadashi swallowed, his nervousness worming its way into the air. "With permission, t-took off your bra..?"

 _TBC…_


	3. Chapter 3

_Of Bodies and Bruises_

 _Chapter Three_

My eyes widened at Tadashi's question. He-he wanted to take off my bra? Well, I guess that shouldn't be so surprising; he already took off my shirt, my bra was just the next step.

 _How_ did I feel about it though? Well, I would be embarrassed, mortified really, at the thought of being topless, around Tadashi no less, but at the same time, the idea didn't seem too off putting. It might even be…Be nice. I felt okay, no, _good_ with my shirt off around him, so why would my bra be any different? It didn't cover up much anyway…

Pulling myself out of my mental debate, I focused back on Tadashi, who was watching me, waiting for my answer.

"W-well…" I looked down at our hands, focusing on my thumb running across his knuckles, "I-I don't think I-I would mind t-terribly so…B-but I…I don't have much t-too offer in…In that a-area so-so…It might not be worth it."

"Auden…" I felt Tadashi's lips brush against my forehead, and I looked up to see him looking at me, the nervousness from before vanishing as he spoke. "I thought I told that I love _all_ of you, so _all_ of you is worth it." Tadashi pulled his hands from my loose grasp, and put them on top instead. "If I didn't think it was worth it, we probably wouldn't be sitting here debating it, right?"

"I-I guess not…" I paused, chewing the inside of my cheek, thinking Tadashi's words over.

Tadashi smiled.

"Exactly. S-so…" Nervousness flickered through Tadashi as he spoke. "Am…Am I allowed to do that…? Remove your b-bra?"

I don't know why I hadn't seen this question coming. After all, Tadashi had _literally_ just asked me how I felt about such an action being committed. I should've realized it was a set up to help facilitate asking it. But no matter how obvious it was, I still hadn't picked up on the cues and so I was completely unprepared for it when I heard it.

I felt my eyes widen and cheeks flush something furious, heart going wild in my chest. Did he _really_ want to see…See _me?_ Swallowing, no moisture left in my mouth or throat, mind buzzing from his words, making it hard to form a coherent sentence to answer him.

"I-I-I T-T-Tadashi," I couldn't help but stutter, so thrown off by his question, "Y-You me-mean, r-r-right n-n-now?"

"Well, not if it makes you uncomfortable," Tadashi quickly said, hearing my worsened stutter. "Just…When ever you're ready. If not now, then of course not, but if you are…Just, I don't want to push you, which is why I asked."

It was Tadashi's turn to run his thumbs over my knuckles, trying to soothe me with the motion. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath in, letting it out slowly, trying to regain my composure. I did say that I wouldn't mind doing it, right..? And I 'm pretty sure my mind hadn't changed within the last three minutes. I…I could do this. It was just like taking my shirt off. Plus, I wasn't completely topless unless it was off so…

"I-It's okay," I said quietly, open my eyes and focusing on Tadashi again. "J-just wasn't expecting it, b-but…I-If you want…to…I-I'm okay with it."

Tadashi's eyes widened; clearly, he hadn't been expecting me to agree to removing my bra; at least, not today.

"A-Auden, are you sure…?" He asked softly, letting loose one of my hands so he could cup my cheek. "Don't feel like you have to because I want to, okay? It was just a question in general, not necessarily for right now."

"If I wasn't sure, I wouldn't of agreed." I said, my words closely mirroring Tadashi's own from earlier. Giving him a soft smile, I lifted my free hand and placed it over his own on my cheek. "I know I don't have t-to right n-now…B-but I think I'd like to…"

Tadashi glanced over at my hand atop of his, quiet for a moment. I knew he was trying to figure out if I really was okay with doing this or if I was just saying it to please him. A moment passed, and right as I was about to open my mouth to reassure him, he looked back at me, mind clearly made up.

"Alright." He nodded, the expression on his face much more serious than I thought it would be. "But, if you at _all_ feel uncomfortable, tell me, and we'll stop, okay?"

"I will." I told him, feeling warmth spiral through me. It really was heartwarming that Tadashi cared so much about me being comfortable when we became more intimate. Though I'm sure he wasn't the only person to make sure his partner was comfortable when such activities took place, I was certain he was one of the more persistent ones. But that persistence to assure that I was okay with everything time and time again just reflected his personality.

It was just such a _Tadashi_ thing, making sure everyone was alright with everything going on before he allowed himself to relax and enjoy himself. It happened outside the bedroom as well as in it, in all aspects of Tadashi's life. I'm sure it had something to do with the death of his parents when he was young and the responsibility of Hiro being thrust upon him. Always making sure his little brother was smiling, that was what he'd grown up doing, and now, that ideal had spread and become generalized throughout every part of his life.

Tadashi nodded again, my affirmation received and accepted. "Okay," he said, and I watched as he swallowed, glancing down at my bra for just a moment, which made me blush just a bit more. "Ready?"

His eyes flicked up to me, and for a moment, something akin to excitement flashed in the warm tawny orbs as he waited for my approval. Heart pounding away once again, I nodded. Tadashi gave me a small, thankful smile as before he turned his attention to my bra. Goosebumps ran up my sides as Tadashi's hands brushed against my ribs as his arms reached around me. My heart thudded heavily in my chest as I felt his fingers once again brush along the clasps of my bra, and was surprised when only a moment later I heard the familiar "click" of it being undone. I had expected it to take at least a minute, thirty seconds at the quickest.

Feeling the shoulder straps loosen as he pulled my bra forward, my stomach began performing an Olympics-worthy gymnastic routine with my gut and bile, breathing out of the question as he slipped the bra oh so gently down my arms, the spring air kissing my bare breasts gently, as if trying to acquaint them the new bareness they now had.

It really hit me that I was bare chested in front of Tadashi though when I saw my bra in his hands, no where near or on my body. Blood pumped hard and fast throughout my body, and I felt most of it travel up to my face as I found Tadashi silent, his eyes on my bare chest, taking my what I had to offer him.

Which wasn't much. I barely had any breast tissue, wore one of the smallest bras they made for women. I felt stomach churn sickly. I thought that taking my bra off would be easier than my shirt, since that had been my first experience removing clothing from my body in front of Tadashi. The second time was supposed to be easier, and that idea applied to everything. At least, that was what I thought. Plus, my bra was less material; it hid much less than my shirt did. But maybe since it hid something much more private, that reasoning didn't apply.

I wish I had figured that out before I'd let Tadashi remove my bra. Biting my lip, I turned my head away from Tadashi, eyes downcast on the floor, hair moving just so it covered my small chest.

"I…I know it's not a…a lot." My voice was but a whisper in the room, cheeks warming with humiliation and embarrassment with each word I spoke. "I…I wish I had more to…to o-offer you, b-but I don't…I…I'm sorry about that."

It was true. I wish I had more I could give Tadashi, both physically and emotionally, yet, no matter what I did, I knew I wouldn't be able to. Even though Tadashi had said he loved what I had, and I could love it for myself, I couldn't love it for him, be okay with it for him. I felt like a failure of a woman honestly.

"Auden…" I felt my cheeks tingle as Tadashi's hands gather my face and brought me back to his own. "Why are you apologizing? You allowing me to see you like this…That is more than enough." Tadashi kissed my forehead, eyes warm as he looked at me. "More than the size or shape or anything else about your chest. Giving me permission to love you like this…" I felt Tadashi brush his thumb across my cheek, and realized with a shock that it was wet; he was wiping away a tear. I hadn't even known I had been crying. "Is worth more than you could even imagine."

I stared at Tadashi, eyes wide, finding it hard to recall how to speak as his words swirled about my head.

"T-Tada…Shi…"

"You're a beautiful person Auden," Tadashi said gently, his eyes soft, as if he knew what I'd been thinking and needed to hear. "You're a beautiful woman, and I am so so _lucky_ to be able to be with you like this."

I could now feel the tears building up and slipping down my cheeks, but couldn't stop them. I bit my lip to prevent full out sobbing in front of Tadashi. How could I _not_ believe him? Tadashi was such a sincere and genuine person. He valued honesty highly, and all the time I had known him, I had never found him lying for anything. He just was too good a person for that. He also had my complete trust, so for me to not believe him, especially when he gave me no reason to, wouldn't make sense.

"Tadashi…" My voice was watery as I spoke, and Tadashi smiled more, brushing the tears away as they built up on his thumbs and on my cheeks.

"I already told you that I love you Auden." Tadashi said softly, and I felt my heart throb at how _genuine_ it sounded, of him saying it. "I told you that I love all of you."

Tadashi's words had my heart switching between fluttering and pounding away in my chest. It was a bizarre feeling, one that only Tadashi could cause, and one that I found comfort in. He made my heart dance in a way it had never before.

After clearing the last of the tears from my face, Tadashi's hands slide down from my neck, tracing my bare skin with his fingertips, causing me to shiver. His hands came to rest on my waist and he pulled me closer to him once again, as I had apparently moved away in my moment of inferiority.

"Which means…" Tadashi leaned forward and kissed my forehead. "That I love your thoughts, and your blush." he kissed my cheeks, making them redden even more so, my heart beating faster, mind unable keep up with everything that was happening, the happiness in me bubbling and beautiful.

"I love your smile," Tadashi continued, leaning forward and kissing my lips, causing them to spark again and again as he kissed them for loving my 'words' and 'laugh.' Lips warmed by his kisses, l rubbed them together, as if doing so would seal the heat within them as I watched his face duck out, short thick hair all I could see of him as he went about what he was doing.

"I love your gentle soul," He spoke, pressing kisses into my neck to show, and instinctively I tilted my head back, exposing my neck and giving him more room to feed it attention. Heat began to bloom in me once more as Tadashi trailed kisses down the sensitive and bruised skin to my collarbone, the dull pain from his lips on his marks making my heart speed up just a bit more.

"Your strength." He continued, kissing along my collarbones, letting his teeth graze over the raised area here and there, causing me to gasp softly, heat flaring up in my and haziness descended down upon me like a thick fleece blanket. Needing something to hold, something to support myself, I reached forward and tried to grip Tadashi's shirt, only to find smooth and warm skin. I felt my face heat up more. That's right, Tadashi took off his shirt…Hands shaking slightly, I smoothed them over his broad, bare shoulders, allowing the heels of my palms to rest on his collarbones.

For a moment, I could have sworn I felt goose bumps rise across his skin as I did so, and Tadashi even paused for just a moment, lips hovering over my skin as he felt my touch. But then he pressed his lips down and continued on, allowing my hands to stay where they were on his warm skin.

"Your good and generous heart."

Tadashi trailed his kissed down the center of my chest, stopping just before my breasts. He looked up at me, asking with his eyes for permission to continue. My heart pounded away, my body warmer then I had ever felt it. I was a little scared of how it felt, but at the same time, wanted it to continue. This was a type of fire that I wanted to stay lit. Squeezing his shoulders, I nodded, trying my best to prepare for what was about to happen. Something I never thought could happen to me, _would_ happen to me was happening right now. It felt almost surreal.

Permission granted, Tadashi's hands moved, sliding up my back. Wondering why he was changing the position of his hands, I opened my mouth to ask him when he began kissing me again, pressing his lips down my chest, between my breasts. Small tingling twirls flew up from where his lips were, my heart pumping harder and harder. Unable to see where his mouth was moving, I instead closed my eyes and focused on the touch of his mouth, hands gripping Tadashi's shoulders harder in anticipation, both excitement and fear coursing through me.

And then suddenly his right hand vanished from my back, and I felt myself jump just a bit, eyes snapping open as his hands found it's way around my left breast, cupping the entirety of it in his hand. The warmth of his hand soaked into my breast in the form of soft sparks, the sensation something I had yet to feel from him or on my chest.

However, even that was small in comparison to the sensations that flew through me as his lips pressed into my left breast, right above my heart. It was like someone had set off a firework inside of me, the sparks showering from the spot he kissed and throughout my body.

My eyes widened and mouth dropped open as if to say "Oh," but nothing came out. My back arched slightly at the unfamiliar but desirable contact, my fingers digging into the skin of his shoulders as I tried to ground myself.

I hadn't expected such a _strong_ reaction from my body with Tadashi's lips upon my breast, hadn't thought it was possible to feel like _that_ from a simple _kiss._ It was incredible as well as a little unnerving. If Tadashi could make such emotions and feelings well up in me with just a peck on my breast, I couldn't even imagine what it would be like when we went even farther…

Tadashi, it seemed, had figured out somehow how my body would react, his dominant hand in the center of my back, lining up where the strap of my bra once did to keep me steady. Now it made since why he had moved his hand to where it currently was.

"I can feel your heartbeat." I snapped out of my thoughts as I heard Tadashi murmuring into my skin, the movement of his lips on my soft skin sending another shower of sparks through me. Bringing my head down a bit, I wasn't able to see Tadashi's face very well, but I could see the his dark hair, mussed from both my hands and his running through it. He had such beautiful hair, and though I loved it when he wore his cap, I loved how he looked even more without it. He looked even more beautiful with just his short dark hair.

"Such a strong beat." Tadashi's voice was low, and whether those words were suppose to be to himself or me, I'll never know. All I knew that when he pressed his lips down onto my breast again, sparks zigzagged through me, and continued to do so, again and again as he kissed my breast. I found that focusing on him and his words was becoming monumentally difficult, the pleasure building the longer his lips lingered on my sensitive chest.

"O-oh…" I couldn't suppress the small moan that slipped passed my lips as I felt something warm and wet, Tadashi's _tongue,_ trace around my bud, causing it to stand to attention. My back arched back as pleasure hit me hard and flashed through out my body. My head snapped back as instinct took me over, hands gripping Tadashi harder, my body shaking, unsure what to do with all the sensation flying through me.

Everything was so hazy now, much more than it had been earlier and in the past; I couldn't seem to make sense of much else then Tadashi's words every now and then, no matter how hard I tried. The sparks and tingling and heat buzzing through my body was overloading my brain, shutting down the logical side of things while boosting up the instinctual.

My breaths were coming faster, hitched, and my blood was speeding all and everywhere through my body. The _warmth_ that circulated within me was _unbelievable._ I didn't even think it was possible to feel this warm, to feel this _good._ I vaguely noticed in my haze that the heat seemed to be focused more in my lower body, seeping down further and further and I felt a _pulse_ where there shouldn't be one. At least, I had never felt one _there_ before, and it wasn't a one time thing it seemed. It kept pulsing, _throbbing_ , and though it was a new thing and felt a bit odd, it drove sensations harder through me, spiraling up my body, dancing along my spine and up into my fogged up mind, pressing me further and further into the pleasure that my body was eagerly soaking up. Deciding to let it go for now, I focused on what it was giving instead of what it meant, not really one to look a gift horse in the mouth, especially now of all times.

"Damn it Auden," Tadashi's voice sounded so close yet so far, yet despite the fluctuating volume I could still pick up the familiar huskiness in his tone. "I didn't realize how much this would turn you on." I moaned as Tadashi's thumb brushed over my bud, pinching it lightly. "Not that I-I'm complaining, but-," I heard Tadashi swear under his breath as he made a new discovery. "W-well, it looks like you aren't the only one g-getting all hot and bothered f-from this."

I knew Tadashi was trying to tell me something, but I couldn't focus on the meaning of his words. All I knew was that I felt so _warm_ and _good_ and just wanted him to keep touching me like he was. I tried to let my feelings be known.

"T-Tada…T'daaashiiiiii…"

Tadashi swore again, and suddenly I found not the air at my back, but the soft cushion of Tadashi's comforter, which felt nice on my bare back. Confusion filled me, but was dulled by the haze. It didn't last for long anyways, as Tadashi appeared above me suddenly, his arms on either side of me, keeping his body hovering above mine as he swooped down and pressed his mouth onto mine. His kissing was so rough now but passion balanced it and I found I liked the increase in pressure. My lips were becoming numb from all constant touching and manipulating, and I found that the numbness was a new sort of sensation. It felt like pins and needles, but not painful. It was softer, gentler, and made me want to kiss Tadashi even more.

My hands, which had been torn from Tadashi's shoulders as he pressed me into his mattress, found their way around his neck, burrowing into his hair, bringing our bodies closer together. My back arched up from the blanket beneath me as Tadashi's dominant hand gave my right breast some attention, the finger swirling around the bud and then pinching it lightly when it became erect, heat rushing me once more, pushing me high above the clouds.

"Mmmm, oh- _oh!_ _T'aaaaaashiiii…"_

I couldn't control my words anymore, the need to vocalize the emotions bubbling and exploding inside of me too much to take silently. Tadashi moved from my mouth back to my neck, biting on the sore spots from earlier, the pain somehow sweet relief from all the pleasure spiraling through me. His hands occupied both breasts now, fingers teasing my buds, tracing around them, offering a pinch here and there, his chest so close I could feel the heat pouring off of it and onto mine.

I could feel myself slipping, tears building in my eyes as my body didn't know how it should react, what to do. It never dealt with this before; _what_ was it suppose to do? Laugh? Cry? I had never been more confused and happier to be so, which just confused me even more.

However, what truly pushed me over into oblivion was when I felt Tadashi's kisses trail back to my left breast, his fingers removing themselves from my hardened bud as his mouth took over. No words could form in my mind or voice as he took my breast into his mouth, sucking on it gently, his tongue swirling around my bud again…And again…And again…

The heat and throbbing spiked inside of me, the action like a volt of pleasure washing through me, effectively shutting the power off to my mind, my body giving into instinct. My back arched up and off the bed, bumping into Tadashi's chest, head throwing itself back and eyes rolling back into my head, my mouth open, a moan louder than the previous filling the air as a result of the overstimulation of my body.

For the first time, I vaguely noticed how wet my underwear felt as it moved against me, the act sending heat twirling up me as it brushed against whatever was pulsating so strongly in me. I didn't know why it was like that, but it felt good _, right_ some how, and I couldn't control myself as I shifted again, allowing the seam of my shorts this time to brush the sensitive area, the action rewarding me with an even stronger pulse of pleasure.

" _Fuck."_ Tadashi swore, which brought me out of my daze just a bit. The word was muffled by my skin, yet I could tell clear as day what word it was. Somewhere in the way back of my mind, a small, itty bitty part of me was surprised to hear Tadashi openly swear. He _never_ did that. If anything, it was under his breath or mouthed, and only when he was stressed over extremely upset over something. "Auden, babe, you got-gotta be a little bit quieter, okay? _"_

Tadashi sounded breathless, his voice deep and huskier than I had ever heard it before. I felt him shift against me, letting out a small groan as he did. "A-aunt Cass is d-downstairs a-and Hiro's here t-too. Th-they d-don't need to know what we're d-doing."

Tadashi's words brought me down from the clouds where I had been drifting, grounding me into reality a bit more so I was able to clear the fog from my head and think a bit better. Warmth still circled through out my body, need itching at me, wanting more than anything to fall into that timeless pleasure again. But I persevered, keeping hold of Tadashi's words and their meaning. He was right; his family didn't need to know what we were doing. I don't think I could ever live it down if one of the two heard or came into the room to check on us. I wouldn't be able to come over again, that was for sure.

"S-sorry T-T-Tadashi," I spoke softly, my own response breathless as my lungs tried to catch up with my recent activity. "I-I…It-it felt re-really nice i-is all." I felt my cheeks redden as I spoke a loud how Tadashi was making me feel. Though I shouldn't have been embarrassed; I was pretty sure Tadashi could've guessed that by how I was reacting to his touch.

Tadashi smiled, resting his forehead against mine.

"I-it's alright," He said, his brown eyes warm and all I could see due to his close proximity. "I'm glad it feels good, just need to-to tone it down a bit. T-trust me, I _love_ hearing you, but unfortunately with other ears around besides my own, we have to be a bit more cautious." Tadashi moved and kissed me on the forehead. "I didn't think you'd be-be so loud in-in bed honestly. It's quite a surprise."

I felt more heat flow into my face at Tadashi's words.

"S-sorry, I-I d-didn't th-think I'd re-react this way e-either."

Tadashi chuckled breathlessly pulling back from me his eyes holding a glimmer I hadn't seen in them before.

"No need to apologize." He said, bringing his lips to my jawline, trailing kisses up to my ear. I automatically turned my head, giving him easier access, a shiver running through me as his lips brushed my ear, his voice much deeper and throaty than it had been moments before.

"I find your volume to be very…arousing."

I felt my heart stop in my chest at his words, only to restart as he nipped the shell of my ear, leaving a lingering sting as he brought his attention back to my face.

"Now," he said, his voice at its normal tone and depth again, "I think that we should stop here. It's clear to me that the both of us are at our limit, and I think if we continue, we might find ourselves naked under the sheets." I blushed at Tadashi's euphemism, "And as much as I'd loved to, I honestly don't think either of us are in the right state of mind to be making such a decision, don't you agree?"

I nodded, glad that Tadashi's level-headedness had miraculously returned, as well as surprised. How had he gone from seductive to serious in a matter of seconds? How was he able to pull himself out of pleasure so seemingly easily? He made it look effortless. That was something I still had to learn, hadn't realized it was a lesson I needed.

"Y-yeah…"

Tadashi smiled, and leaned down.

"Excellent." Tadashi pressed a sweet kiss into my lips, tingles spreading throughout my lips and fading into my face. "Well then, I think I'll go…to the bathroom and deal with s-some things." Tadashi's face reddened a bit as he spoke. "I'll be back in a bit, alright?" Tadashi smoothed my hair back, pressing another kiss to my forehead.

I nodded again, forehead warming at the touch of his mouth.

"O-okay…"

Tadashi smiled, and then leaned back, finding his footing on the smooth boards below him. I sat up, leaning on my elbows for support, watching as Tadashi reached down and grabbed his shirt from off the ground. Pulling the dark red tee shirt over his head, effectively covering his tanned torso, Tadashi bent down again, standing back up with my bra and tank top in his hand.

Blushing furiously, I sat up all the way, taking the clothing from him and bringing the bundled material close to my chest, covering my bear chest once again. Tadashi grinned, as if what I had done was comical, before heading towards the shoji door.

Opening it enough to fit his body through, Tadashi turned back and looked at me.

"Be back in a few, okay?"

I nodded, and he smiled, winking at me, making my heart flutter in my chest. He slid out the small opening and pulled the thin wall door shut with a soft _click._ I sat on the edge of the bed, clothes gathered at my chest, waiting until his foot steps faded before letting out the breath I had been holding. I feel back on the bed, shirt and bra still tightly pressed against my chest. The heat circling in me had dissipated rather quickly, but I found I was okay with that. I felt…Content. Cheeks burning at the thought, I focused instead on replaying over and over everything that had just happened between Tadashi and I. My heart pounded at some parts more than others, and I found an occasional flare of heat making it's way up me, a faint pulse from my underwear almost easy to miss, but not at all dismissible.

 _TBC…_


	4. Chapter 4

_Of Bodies and Bruises_

 _Chapter Four_

I felt something warm brushing against my cheek, forming lazy circles on my skin. It was constant and soothing, which had my heart fluttering and bubbles beginning to form light and airy in my stomach. As I focused more on it, I began to pick up other feelings, such as something else warm like what was on my face on the small of my back, though much larger, steadier and sturdier. It also seemed to be connected to something just as warm and smooth, which was draped across my waist. The familiarity of it made me feel protected, safe, and somewhere in the back of my still waking mind, I knew I had felt it before.

Becoming more alert to my surroundings, I could sense that something or someone was in front of me, and rather close, as the heat radiated off of them and soaked into my skin. I could _feel_ them, as my hands were pressed into their soft and smooth skin. I was positioned on my side, on something comfortable and soft, as well as covered my something equally so. My head rested on something poufy that smelled of laundry detergent and spearmint…

Spearmint.

Life savers.

Tadashi.

As my mind made the connections, memories of today's earlier activities flooded into my head and I felt my heart beat spike, residual warmth spreading throughout my body. That had happened, right? It wasn't just a dream, was it?

Finally together enough, I managed to push through the rest of my unconsciousness and open my rather heavy eyelids, blinking a few times to clear my blurred vision.

It was just as dark as it had been from behind my closed lids. My eyes drifted lazily, scanning the room, picking up familiar outlines of objects that could pinpoint me to where exactly I was.

"Auden? Are you awake?"

Tadashi's voice was quiet, a whisper in the night that brought my attention back to him, to what was in front of me. As my eyes adjusted, I could make out his lean outline, the fluffiness of his hair and sharp curve of his jaw. My half asleep brain managed to perk up enough to recognize the warmth on my face and my waist was Tadashi's finger and his arm, slung around me to keep me close to him. And my hands, it seemed, were positioned on his chest, and if I concentrated enough, I could feel the steady beat of his heart underneath my right palm.

"Y-yeah…"

My voice was quiet as well, thick with sleep, unlike Tadashi's. His voice was a different type of quiet; clear, just like his eyes. Drowsiness was not etched anywhere into his face. I wondered just how long he'd been awake, just watching me, tracing my cheek with his finger.

"Sorry." I felt Tadashi's finger pause and warmth envelope my face as he pressed his palm against it. "I didn't mean to wake you."

I shook my head just a little, too lazy and sleepy to do much more than that.

"I-it's alright…" I muttered, my head sinking into the pillow below me. "I wasn't that tired anyways."

Despite the darkness, the moonlight that streamed through the window behind us offered enough light for me to see Tadashi's eyebrows raise in surprise.

"Really? You could've fooled me. You were pretty quiet the rest of the day after, and fell asleep not even half way through the movie."

Though he was vague about what "after" was, I knew what he was talking about, and felt my cheeks burn anew. I had been pretty tired after, and I didn't know why. After Tadashi came back from the bathroom and I had redressed myself, exhaustion suddenly hit me and I just didn't feel like doing much else but curling into Tadashi and listening to his heartbeat. Tadashi didn't seem to mind, and part of me thinks that he was feeling along the same lines as me, but apparently not. Or, at least, not as bad as I was. I honestly felt like I was drugged, felt so groggy and could barely keep my eyes open as I settled into Tadashi, who I vaguely remembered putting on a movie I had apparently agreed to watch.

That had been around six, so I must've fallen asleep around seven or so, and it seemed it had been surprisingly easily, which was odd. Sleep had evaded me for so long, had been impossible most nights since Carter's passing…I had grown used to waking up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat and trying to fight shredded memories imbued in nightmares even after I was fully awake. A handful of hours was a good night's sleep for me.

But after I'd started to become better, started helping myself as well as let people help me, sleep had become easier. Of course, the nightmares and restless nights didn't completely vanish. I still had times where I woke up, sometimes screaming, other times feeling like I was suffocating, but they weren't nearly as frequent or horrible as they had once been.

That being said, falling asleep and staying asleep as I had been was an incredible feat for me, a record. Even more impressive was the fact that I had not been woken up by a nightmare, but by Tadashi. There was no rude awakening, and I couldn't be more thankful for that.

"Ah, well then, m-maybe I was tired." I felt my cheeks flush, ears burning just a bit.  
"S-sorry for falling asleep during the movie."

Tadashi chuckled, and leaned forward, kissing my forehead.

"It's alright. Honestly, I'm not too surprised you were so tired. That kind of stuff can really wipe people out, especially if you haven't built up stamina for it." He explained quietly, a light smile on his lips.

"Re-really? Well…I suppose that makes s-sense." I answered, my heart fluttering as we danced around the true subject, speaking in a code and not straightforward. Though, I suppose when you are close enough to understand one another, the extra words really are not needed.

"It uses a lot of energy definitely." Tadashi said, his thumb brushing across my cheek. "Good thing you changed into your pajamas before we started it. I would've hated to wake you up."

"Y-yeah…" I agreed, feeling my eyes drift shut, "I-it was…sm-smart on my…part."

I heard Tadashi chuckle quietly.

"Are you falling asleep on me right in the middle of our conversation?" I felt his thumb remove from my cheekbone and instead his finger poke me on the nose. "Rude."

I opened my eyes up again, looking up at Tadashi, who was smirking at me.

"H-hey, _you_ were the one who woke me up," I replied, fighting back a yawn, "If any-anyone is the rude one, i-it's you."

"So sassy." Tadashi chided, looking down at me, mirth in his eyes. "It must be the full moon."

"Probably is-," I started to retort, but as I did, my fingers curled against where they were on Tadashi's chest, and instead of the usual cloth scrunching beneath my fingers, I found soft, smooth skin.

Tadashi was shirtless.

If I hadn't been awake before, I certainly was now.

"T-T-Tadashi," I struggled to keep my voice low, the incredulous tone sharp in the night air, "Wh-where's…Wh-why aren't you wearing a-a shirt?"

Tadashi's eyebrows shot up in the air, clearly surprised by my reaction.

"I…Well, I usually sleep with my shirt off, and I thought that maybe...Maybe now…" though I couldn't see it, I was certain Tadashi was blushing, given the tone of his voice. "Now th-that'd you seen me, you know…I thought it would be okay…"

I felt the mattress move, and found Tadashi beginning to move away from me.

"I'm sorry, I should've asked. Do you want me to put a shirt on? I can if it'll make you feel better."

"Uh, ah, n-n-no," I stuttered, mind racing, having difficulty thinking as it had gone from zero to sixty within seconds, "I-it's uh, f-fine, I just…Was surprised. I-I hadn't been e-expecting it."

That was the truth. I hadn't been expecting Tadashi to be shirtless at all. I was used to the off white cotton tee shirt he wore for sleep, not his smooth, bare chest. I hadn't realized that me seeing it once meant that I would be seeing it more; like a door that opened to many halls and possibilities.

Tadashi stared at me for a moment, trying to determine if I meant what I said, or, if I was just saying what he'd like to hear. "Well, alright," Tadashi said, still eyeing me carefully for any telltale signs of discomfort, "If you say so. But, if you really feel like you'd rather me have-,"

"Tadashi." I placed my hand on the one he had on my waist, which stopped him midsentence. "I-I'm fine with it, really. Like I said, I-I was just…not expecting it. Re-really…I…" I felt my face burn in the night air. "I l-like you like th-this…"

In the weak moonlight, I managed to catch Tadashi's cheeks pinked, his eyes widening slightly just for a moment before he was quickly able to overcome being pleasantly surprised.

"Ah, well…I'm glad then." He said, and I felt his thumb brush across the skin of my waist, sending goose bumps up my spine. "Th-thank you. I…I like you l-like that too…"

I felt my heart stutter in my chest at Tadashi's words. He…He really did like me without a shirt, even though I didn't have much to show? I didn't bother asking him this; considering the conversation we had earlier, as well as the actions committed, it was abundantly clear that Tadashi was alright with what I had, enjoyed what I could give him, no matter how little it was. And even though I had evidence that those were in fact his true feelings, I still had difficulty wrapping my mind around it, as I had become so used to the idea that I didn't have what somebody would want, that I wasn't desirable, that to be anything but that seemed surreal.

"D…Do you w-want me to-to be like that r-right now?" The words were out of my mouth before I had the time to process them and think about what I was offering. I felt my cheeks burn as I realized too late what I had asked, but there was no turning back now.

I never knew Tadashi's eyebrows could shoot up as fast as they did as he took in my words, eyes widening and cheeks darkening.

"I-I…Wh-what? Auden, wh-why would you…?"

"W-well you said you l-liked it…" I said. Heart beating faster in my chest, I looked down under the sheet, where I could see my hand pressing against Tadashi's chest. "A-and, well, y-you're shirtless, so it-it doesn't seem f-fair that I'm not as well…S-since you are for me."

"I-I do li-like it," Tadashi's flustered voice and admittance made my stomach flip flop, "B-but, y-you don't have to…B-be like that just because I am…I-I don't want you to feel like you have to."

"I-I know," I answered, the tips of my ears beginning to burn as the words I said were spoken to the air, "B-but I… want to. Re-really." I looked up at Tadashi, licking my lips. "I…I want to."

Tadashi stared at me, eyes still wide and face turning darker in the moonlight, the heat rolling off him now even more so. For a moment, he seemed at a loss for words, and had to gather himself, before he was able to respond.

"W-well, if that is really how you feel…Then I don't mind."

I nodded.

"I-it is…Um," I bit my lip, "W-would mind letting g-go for just a second so I-I can…Y-You know…?" It seemed like all the blood in my body was in my face, the skin so hot it felt like I had been sunburned.

Tadashi blinked at me, not understanding what I was asking for a moment. When he did, he nodded jerkily.

"Oh. Yeah, s-sure." Tadashi hastily removed his hands from my cheek and waist, pulling them back to him. "S-Sorry about that."

I gave him a small smile.

"I-it's okay T-Tadashi." I took a deep breath in, letting it out slowly, preparing myself. "I-I'm gonna d-do it now, okay…?"

Tadashi nodded again, eyes never leaving me.

"Y-yeah, okay."

With that exchange of words, I reached down, under the sheets, and found the hem of my large tee shirt I wore for sleeping. Gripping it in both hands, I pulled it up and over myself. The cool night air hit my bare torso as I raised my arms up to pull the shirt off from around my head, allowing the breeze from the cracked window behind Tadashi and I to catch underneath the sheets. Free of the shirt, I bundled it up and leaned towards the side of the bed, letting it drop to the wooden floor with a light _plop._ I then turned back towards Tadashi, stomach dancing as my bare chest brushed against the smooth, soft linen of the bed.

Tadashi was still just staring at me, and I watched as his eyes dipped down for just a second, below the covers, glance at my exposed chest. The action made my heart pump harder, but also made me feel…Happy. This couldn't be an act, Tadashi couldn't just be pretending to be engrossed in my half naked form for the sake of my confidence; the emotions on his face were all too real to be fake.

Tadashi really did like me, like everything I had, whether or not it was "womanly."

He truly loved all of me, just like he said.

A small smile formed on my lips.

"D-do you want to…H-hold me?" I asked quietly, the happiness and security blooming inside of me making my shyness diminish. Tadashi's eyes snapped up at my words, his cheeks matching my own.

"Uh, y-yeah sure, I-I mean, are _you_ sure?" He asked, eyes searching me, still determined to make sure that I was actually all right with whatever I suggested. That I was comfortable with it.

I nodded.

"Yes."

To further convince him as well as take a risk, I moved myself closer to him, our chests a breadth away from touching, the heat coming off of each of us mixing like our breathes. I could Tadashi's eyes widen even more, if that was even possible, and his eyebrows made themselves at home in his hair line.

"Au…Auden…"

My smile widened a bit more at his shocked and rather dazed sounding words. The happiness and contentment he provided me with washed over me more, and allowed me the courage to wrap my arm around his neck, let my feel tangle with his, our faces only a few inches away from each other.

I never thought I could be this forward with someone, would ever get the chance to. Even with Tadashi, I never thought I'd be able to make the moves or at least, be the first too. But here I was, doing just that, and it wasn't because I was suddenly 100% ready to take the next step or do anything else more intimate and extreme. It wasn't because I felt I needed to, or that all the anxiety I felt about doing such things had suddenly vanished. My heart was still beating oh so fast, my face feeling perpetually burned, and stomach swirling around like there was a small hurricane going on in my GI system, and the thought of doing anything more than what we were right now just made all of these things increase in their intensity. All of this was brought on my the nervousness I still felt. So yes, I was still nervous, and yes, I wasn't ready to do more yet. It had taken me over eight months to get to this point in our relationship, and I'm sure it would take at least eight more to get to the next.

However, despite all that, despite my anxiety and being unprepared to go further with Tadashi, I was able to do this, _wanted_ to do this, because I loved Tadashi. I loved him, and wanted to show him that I did. I wanted to show him that all the happiness he gave me, all the comfort and safety and security he provided for me didn't go to waste. That, those things, and the many others he gave me, helped lower my anxiety, helped me to think about the next step in our relationship, even if I wasn't ready for it. Tadashi's help _made_ me want to do these things, to step up to the plate, to show him that with him, I was all right with doing this. That with him, it was much easier to do then I ever thought it could be.

That all that he gave me made me want to give him all of it back in return.

I leaned forward, kissing Tadashi's forehead lightly, my bare chest pressing against his. The feeling brought warmth spreading through my chest like a shower of gentle sparks, and I heard Tadashi take in a short breath, the touch clearly having a similar affect on his as well.

I pulled back to look at his face, my grey eyes locking onto his surprised brown.

"Yes Tadashi?"

Tadashi swallowed.

"C-can I…Hold you…L-like this…?" I felt Tadashi's arm gently wrap around my waist, the heat of his hand making my waist tingle. I felt my heart quicken but still managed to nod.

"Y-yes…That's fine."

Tadashi nodded, still looking a bit flustered as well as dazed, and for a few moments, neither of us said a word, both adjusting to our new sleeping arrangement in more ways then one.

However, that silence was broken as Tadashi moved himself a bit more touching his forehead with mine, no longer looking so flustered, but a bit of pink still lingered on his cheeks.

"Th-this is new…" He mused quietly, his breath puffing onto my face. "N-never knew you c-could be so forward…Who are you and what have you done with my timid, blushy little girlfriend?"

I smiled at Tadashi's teasing tone.

"N-nothing at all" I said simply, "I-I'm still her, w-we're one in the same…Just…I love you, Tadashi, and I trust you, and want to show you th-that…In another way."

Tadashi blinked at my words, clearly not expecting them to be as deep as they were.

"Well…" Tadashi answered, "I know that you do, and I love you and trust you too." He kissed my nose. "And, though you have shown me that you feel these things for me many times before in different ways, I won't lie and say that I don't mind this way. I think it may be one of my favorite ones."

I felt the blood thunder in my ears as it raced towards my face at Tadashi's words.

"W-well…If it makes you feel any better, I think it is one of my f-favorite ways now t-too." I said shyly, and Tadashi chuckled quietly, his chest rumbling against mine.

"That does make me feel better." He said, eyes shining with mirth.

The conversation dissipated after that, and we just laid there, holding each other, close and comfortable, basking in each other's warmth and hold. I found myself moving just a bit so that my head rested on Tadashi's chest, ear against it, allowing me to feel and hear the steady beat of his heart. I felt Tadashi rest his head on top of mine, the thumb on my waist brushing against my skin in a soothing manner. The combination of his heart and thumb, of his presence in general, had me relaxing into him and once again drifting off to sleep, the light and airy feeling he had imbued in me remaining prominent throughout the night and well into the next day.

 _The End_


End file.
